Making Bad Choices Read online

I held up my hands in surrender. “Everything is fine with me.”

  Culter turned to me, nodding toward the staircase up. “Let’s go.”

  “Fine,” Spencer stood up and crossed the basement toward us. He wrapped me in a big hug. “Thanks for coming, Cassie.” Leaning in closer, he whispered. “Lily is a bitch, don’t take it personally.”

  “I’m not,” I whispered back.

  “And Culter does this a lot, so don’t worry about that either. We’re all used to it.”

  “Okay,” I whispered. “Thanks for being so nice to me, Spencer.”

  He pulled back and grinned. “Easy to be nice to a sexy as hell, sweet girl from L.A. Next time I’m making you drink with me, though. No sneaking off with Baby Fuller to get high, you got me?”

  “Baby Fuller,” I laughed.

  “I’m less than a year younger than you, damn it,” Tyler said, as if he had to reiterate this point often.

  “We’ll see about the drinking thing, okay? I’m not that big of a drinker.” I laughed, still feeling a little bit of that floating happiness.

  “Well, I expect you to make an exception for me.”

  “Bye, Cassie.” Beefy leaned in too, giving me an all-encompassing hug that literally took me off my feet. “I hope we can hang out more, soon.”

  “Oh, that’s so sweet,” I said as he put me back on the ground.

  “We’re really happy you live here now.”

  I couldn’t help but notice that he teetered a little as he said it. I started to suspect that maybe they were all pretty drunk, they just were good at keeping it down.

  “See you, Monday,” I said, tapping his cheek. I couldn’t help it, he was so cute and big and sweet.

  Both Isabella and Mason got up to hug us goodbye before we reentered the main part of the party. Dancing, drinking people filled Spencer’s living room. Several of the dancing girls’ eyes tracked us as we passed.

  “Go get Cassie’s purse,” Culter said to Tyler.

  I glared at Culter. “I can get my purse, Culter.”

  He looked down at me. “Tyler’s already going to get it.”

  When I looked back, I found that Tyler was gone.

  “Hey Culter,” a pretty girl said, stepping up next to us.

  Culter nodded over. “Hey Jess, it’s not a good time right now.” He looked away.

  The poor girl looked a little shocked and a lot embarrassed.

  “Sorry,” I said to her. “We’re just about to leave.”

  She nodded, stepping back into the crowd.

  Culter was acting like a big dork, and I had to agree with his friends, he was blowing this way out of proportion. It was a little embarrassing, sure, but we were playing truth or dare and that shit is usually embarrassing. It’s just part of the game.

  Tyler returned with my purse, and all of our hats and jackets. None of us said anything more as we bundled up and headed out into the snow.

  Chapter Sixteen

  As we climbed the stairs back up to the house, Tyler paused on the stoop. “Is anyone going to complain if I finish this?”

  He pulled a smashed half-smoked joint in a plastic bag out of his back pocket. “Cassie?” he offered it up.

  “I’m good,” I said, seeing my breath as I rubbed my arms. “But I’ll stay out here with you, even though I’m freezing my ass off.”

  “Thanks.” Tyler lit up, burning the joint down before holding it out. “Culter?” he said, his voice oxygen deprived.

  To my surprise, Culter took it and put it to his lips. The embers burned bright for a second, before smoldering. Culter met my gaze before he exhaled, letting the smoke stream up between us. He hadn’t said two words since we left the party, but I got the feeling he was still pissed off.

  They passed the joint twice more between them, before Tyler stomped it out.

  “Where does your mom hide her butts?” Tyler asked, peering off the porch.

  Culter nodded inside. “Just flush it.”

  “I forgot it was legal here. Does Jen smoke?” I asked as my teeth chattered.

  Culter smirked as he unlocked the door. “Yeah, but don’t let her know that we know. She used to do it with your mom, I think. But Frank is crazy against it.”

  I already knew that part. “That’s funny. My mom was a bad influence on Jen,” I whispered through a giggle.

  “I’m hungry,” Tyler said as we entered the living room.

  “Seriously?” I poked him in his side. “I’m pretty sure we ate like three thousand plus calories each at Spencer’s.”

  “Cassie, I could eat an entire manticore and still be hungry.”

  “Do you even know what that is?” I asked, laughing.

  “Nope, but I figured you would.” He pointed at me as he walked toward the kitchen.

  I turned to Culter, who still hadn’t talked to me. “Couldn’t you get kicked off the team for smoking?”

  “Yeah, or drinking.” He shrugged as he sat on the back of the couch. “So, the whole team could have been kicked off the team tonight.”

  I walked over, taking a seat beside him. “Are you okay? You seemed like that really got to you. Is she your ex?” Obviously the weed was loosening my tongue, because I’d thought that, but had not planned to ask him.

  Culter laughed derisively, but didn’t answer. “Sounds like you and your ex are still pretty close.”

  I blew out a breath and looked away. “Actually we haven’t talked for months. But we parted on good terms, and we always got along.”

  “He’s still got it bad for you.”

  I shook my head. “He’s just a big flirt. Markus is kind of like Spencer, except he wasn’t a partier at all.”

  He blinked at me. “I thought you said that Spencer wasn’t your type?”

  I licked my lips. “Maybe he is a bit but I don’t feel that. . .” I trailed off, meeting Culter’s eyes. I didn’t feel that warm tingling feeling when I looked at Spencer, that spark, that indefinable something that I was feeling in this very instant. I forced myself to look away.

  Damn it, Cassie.

  “Hey!” Tyler walked into the hall with an empty container. “I just ate all of your leftovers, cold. Now, point me to a bed, or am I sleeping on the couch?”

  We both looked over at him.

  “Go sleep in my bed, I’ll sleep in Josh’s room,” Culter said.

  “Sold,” Tyler turned, obviously knowing his way. “Night, Cassie!”

  “Goodnight! Thanks for getting me through that party,” I called at his back.

  “Anytime.”

  We stood there in silence as Tyler trudged away. A tangible something hovered in the air between us. Or maybe it was just me thinking these secret thoughts, these very wrong thoughts. Maybe it was only me.

  I stood from the couch, slowly. “I should probably go get ready for bed.” My words came out a whisper. I said get ready for bed but what I meant was, splash cold water on my face to wake me from this forbidden dream.

  In the bathroom, I washed my face and brushed my teeth, but neither the cold water nor the mint were enough to wake me from the warmth still growing in me.

  When I left the bathroom and wandered over to my room, I wasn’t surprised to find Culter stretched across my bed. Stepping inside, I closed the door behind me.

  “You know you can’t sleep here,” I said as I went to lie down beside him.

  When my head rested on the pillow beside him, he smirked over at me. “You going to kick me out?”

  I bit my lower lip. “In a minute.”

  His hand reached across the space between us and came to rest on my hip. The pad of his thumb slowly moved over my hip bone. “I thought you were a virgin,” he said.

  I stared at him, not sure what to think of his statement. “Why did you think that?”

  He made a face I couldn’t read.

  “Culter, you’re already starting to piss me off,” I grumbled, turning from him. “Why are you here? Go sleep in Joshie’s room.”

  His
hand moved over my hip and onto my stomach. “I just always thought I was going to be your first.”

  I looked at him, sharply. “You did not.”

  He nodded slowly. “Since I figured out about sex . . . and realized that I wanted it, and who I wanted to do it with.”

  “I thought we hated each other,” I whispered.

  “Because of Movieworld,” he said, looking away, though his hand remained.

  “Not just that.”

  “Just that.” He sighed. “Cassie, no one told me that your mom was diagnosed again. I didn’t know that they were taking you to Movieworld all the time to distract you. All I knew was that I showed up there and you wouldn’t talk to me, or tease me, or bicker with me like you always did before. You wouldn’t wrestle me for the remote or pass out on the couch next to me. On top of that, I hadn’t seen Josh in months and all he wanted to do was play with you and sit in your lap and be around you, probably sensing how upset you were. No one told me, and so I lied to them and told them you weren’t coming, mostly because I’d never been there before and I wanted to go with Josh on all the rides and stuff like that. But it was also to punish you for being so cold to me all summer. I’d been thinking about you all year, and you wouldn’t even look at me. Then everyone found out that you were ditched and that it was my fault. I was treated like Satan incarnate, and they sent me on the next plane here. And I was never allowed to see you again, ever.”

  “You wanted to see me?” I asked.

  “Fuck yeah, I did. I tried everything to convince them. And it didn’t matter that I didn’t know your mom had cancer again when I did that, I was written off as unfit to be around you.”

  I paused. “I didn’t know any of that.”

  “Of course you didn’t. Your dad thinks I’m a piece of shit, he never wanted me anywhere near you.”

  “You’re pretty near me now,” I whispered.

  His hand spread out on my stomach, his pinky slipping along my waistband. “Yeah, I definitely am.”

  We just lay there for a few seconds, looking into each others’ eyes, knowing that this was a mistake, wanting to make it anyway.

  “What did you think it was going to be like?” I asked in a quiet voice.

  “What going to be like?” he asked.

  “Me losing my virginity to you? What did you think it was going to be like?” My voice shook a little as I asked it.

  He pulled me toward him, leading me to lie with my back to his front. “Slow, careful . . . the best night of my life.” He slipped my shirt up until it settled into the curve of my waist, his fingers slowly trailed over my side where my tattoo was now entirely healed.

  Leaning in, he whispered, “I have to admit that I hate Markus Berry-Young now. I’m never going to watch his stupid fucking show again.”

  I let out a shaky laugh. “You watch a show about a teenage girl falling in love with her emo vampire blood-slave-master?”

  He pulled in closer to me, his body entirely pressed against the length of mine, his hand gripping my hip. “Well, I’m never going to now,” he whispered into my hair.

  “You wanted me to lose it to you, but you definitely didn’t wait for me.”

  “No, I didn’t. Part of the reason I didn’t wait was because I didn’t want to be bad at it.”

  “Yeah, sure.” I rolled my eyes. “It doesn’t make any sense, Culter. If you felt like that, why’d you lie to me to go hook up with some strangers at that hotel? I think you’re just a player, and you’re trying to melt my insides into a little puddle you can splash through.” Those might have been my words, but my fingers played over his while every inch of my body thrummed.

  “Cassie, I don’t think you can even imagine what it felt like to watch you lying topless and gasping on that bed for three hours. And then I had to drive you for hours in that little sweater with no bra.” His hand squeezed on my hip as he said this. “And then you tell me to stay the night with you, but I knew you didn’t want me to. I went downstairs and those girls told me to come up to their room and fuck them, and I wanted to fuck so bad, I was in pain. It just wasn’t them that I wanted to fuck.”

  “I felt sorry for you that night. Now I’m beginning to feel a little sorry for them.”

  “Trust me, don’t,” he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

  “Full-of-yourself Fuller,” I mumbled.

  “Go to sleep, Cassie,” he said back.

  “Really? Sleep?” I whispered.

  “Yes, sleep. We’re both baked.”

  I was beginning to completely understand his pain from the hotel. “What about Tyler?” I whispered.

  “What about him?” he asked, his voice a little muffled.

  “What if he sees you come out of my room?” I asked.

  “Like I give a fuck,” he whispered.

  “I care,” I whispered back.

  “Okay,” he said, but then said nothing more before his breath evened out, and I knew that he had fallen asleep. As I closed my eyes, I realized that as of tonight, I had a very big secret, and the person I shared that secret with didn’t care to keep it.

  Chapter Seventeen

  I woke alone with my blankets tucked snugly around my body. The faint constant sound of the shower flowing traveled in through my open door. I rolled out of my blankets. Grabbing the pillow I last saw Culter sleeping on, I buried my face into it, inhaling. His scent still lingered, meaning that it hadn’t been a dream—Culter had said all those things last night.

  “What’s your pillow smell like? Or are you hyperventilating?”

  My head shot up from the pillow to look over to Tyler, who stood leaning against my doorway. He turned a cell phone over and over in his hand while he offered me a small smile.

  I pulled the pillow from my face and tried to smile back. “Just trying to see if it needs a wash, since it’s Sunday.”

  “Want me to smell it for you?” He reached out.

  I threw the pillow back behind me. “It smells fine. And that’s weird. You heading out to get your car?” I asked.

  “Um . . .” he looked back down the hall toward the bathroom. “Would it be cool if I stayed a while today?” he asked it cautiously, like a lot depended on my answer.

  “Of course, it’s fine with me. Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, of course. Just not ready for the weekend to be over yet.” The expression he gave me matched his words, but at the same time, it didn’t read as entirely genuine.

  I gestured out to him. “We could start on next week’s comic. We probably should because I’m already getting homework, and I have to at least pass this year.”

  He gave me a much bigger smile. “I was thinking that Gunther should try to ask Betsy to Winter Ball. That Monday is when people will probably start thinking about it, because it’ll be less than two weeks away.”

  “Nice, keeping it relevant. I’m kind of nervous for tomorrow. Are you nervous for the paper?” I asked.

  He shrugged. “People will like it.”

  “I wish I could bottle your confidence.” I meant it too, I wish I could bottle his and Culter’s, it would make life a hell of a lot easier.

  “It’s not really confidence, I think some people care what everyone thinks and feels, and some people just care about what a couple people think and feel.”

  I nodded as down the hallway the shower screeched and turned off.

  Tyler glanced down the hall, and then back at me. “So, how about I explain my idea to you and we tell Culter that we need to work on the comic today when he tries to kick me out?”

  As much as I kind of did want Tyler to be kicked out, at the same time, there was no way I wouldn’t help him. He’d been my rock yesterday, and we’d only been friends for a week.

  “Of course, Tyler.” I grabbed my sketch pad and started blocking out a nine-frame strip. “I’m going to start planning a little better, too. Come sit at my desk,” I gestured over to it. “You’ll be the first one to use it.”

  Tyler sat
on my desk, his feet on my desk chair, swiveling it around. “So Gunther gets a bouquet for Betsy, right? To ask her out to Winter Ball.”

  “Oh, no,” I said as I crossed my legs under me.

  “And, he’s all happy and—”

  “Hey, what you doing in here?” Culter ducked his head in, wet hair falling around his face. He was looking over at Tyler.

  I focused on my sketch pad. “We’re working on our comic.” I wrote happy Gunther with flowers, in the first frame.

  “Cool.” There was a soft smacking sound, like Culter tapping the doorframe. “All right, Tyler, you ready to go? I’m going to take you to your car in five minutes.”

  I forced myself to look up and over at Culter, who wasn’t wearing a shirt, again. More than one water drop dripped down his neck and over his shoulders. Fuck. Swallowing, I steadied myself and said, “Tyler and I need to work on our comic for a while.”

  “How about five minutes?” Culter asked.

  “How about five hours? Comics take time,” I said.

  “No,” he said, and then he just walked away down the hall.

  The fuck?

  “Yes!” I yelled after him, but got no response.

  “Told you. Douchebag,” Tyler whispered.

  “Tyler, you can stay. Culter can give you a ride to your car or something, later.” I nodded, deciding that it was time for me to set in my heels and not let that crazy boy win, for once. “Let’s keep going, Gunther gets a bouquet of flowers for Betsy, what happens next?”

  “Well, he sees his brother with something ridiculous—a circus or a sky plane—”

  Culter came to stand in my doorway. “Yo, Tyler, ready to go?”

  “He’s not going, Culter. He and I have shit to do, okay?” I waved my hand. “Go do something.”

  His jaw set. “Fuck that, Cassie. You two hung out all week, everyday at lunch, after school, the whole time at the party. You’re probably going to hang out with him all next week too. Sunday is mine. Tyler, you’re going home.”

  “That’s insane, Culter. I hung out with you nonstop all week and I live with you.” I rolled my eyes. “If you kick Tyler out, he’s just going to pick me up and we’ll go work somewhere else. We have homework and shit to do next week so we have to get started with this or we’ll never have another chance.”